The bride and the groom walk down the isle during the Lego Star Wars wedding my sons put together yesterday. I’m not really sure who the bride is, but apparently the father of the bride in this Indiana Jones’ father. As you can see by the droids and the clone troopers that the guest list was a who’s who in the Lego Star Wars Universe.

Obi Wan Kenobi and Asajj Ventress take a long look at each other and are strange choice for best man and maid of honor for the Lego Star Wars bride and groom.

This is what the kids think I look like at a wedding. Though I don’t understand why they think I have a strange mustache, I have been known to wear black and wear a fedora. I must admit that if that camera was to scale it would weigh about 80 pounds. No wonder they put it on the tripod.

The Lego Star Wars bride and her father walk down the isle as clone troopers and droids look on during the ceremony.

A clone trooper snaps a picture during the wedding as the bride passes during the processional. This is a typical happening during a wedding that two dozen people will hold up there P&S cameras or phones to capture a nice out of focus fuzzy picture that they can cherish for all of five minutes before erasing it and buying a print from me.

Somehow the bride lost her father during the processional. It doesn’t have to make sense according to convention. It’s a little boys dream wedding, not a girl. Notice the lack of flowers. A little girl would never have dreamed this up unless she was settling for some parent’s basement dwelling Star Wars obsessed loser that she feels sorry for.

The groom waits for the bride at the alter as Obi Wan and some droid thing the kids made a ring bearer wait along side.

The bride and groom meet on the wedding day for the first time. I think the bride’s father was taken off and devoured by the Sarlacc beast or so the kids decided after much contention.

It was decided that Yoda was going to have to be the Lego Star Wars wedding officiant. I’m not sure what text he’s supposed to be holding their as I doubt the Jedi subscribe to any known religion that those of us on earth have heard of. The bride and groom clasp hands and ascend the stairs.

Asajj Ventress is asked multiple times by Yoda to put out her light sabre and turn the ringer off on her cell phone but she threatens him with a beheading so he continues the ceremony as if she wasn’t a heartless snake wench from a third rate backwards planet.

The two wait patiently as Yoda opens his Bible type thing and fumbles around for his notes and finally is able to begin the ceremony.

Love is in the air between these two nameless Lego Star Wars humanoids. Or in the words of Yoda, “Love him, you do? Love her, you do? Good, is it?”

And Yoda said, “Pronounce you man and wife, I do. Kiss the bride you do or do not. There is no try.”

Excitement builds as they hold their kiss long enough for me to run around the the other side of the wedding and get another shot from this angle. If only all of my couples where this inanimate.

The happy couple begins the recessional by not falling down the stairs.

Through the salute of several battle droids the bride and groom march happily to The Imperial March even though the choice of music was the cause of much contention among those guests being decidedly against the empires vicious rule of the galaxy. Those apposed to the empire would be promptly extinguished after the last of the wedding formal photographs.

It was a sign of goodwill that Obi Wan and Asajj Ventress walked together during the recessional. They were not happy about the seating arrangements and both were terribly unhappy with the placement of their table that was too far from the buffet.

R2-D2 and the unnamed ring bearer droid beep happily as they walk down isle during the recessional.

LEGO star wars wedding formal photographs

In many real world weddings I get a list of pictures to take after the ceremony. Sometimes the list consists of immediate family, the bridal party and sometimes grandparents and siblings. Sometimes the list consists of 30 shots of family that have no interest in being in pictures, but are bound by obligation to stand and smile or do their closest approximation of what they think is a smile while doing whatever they can do to not put down their drink. These formals from the kids’ Lego Star Wars wedding are an extreme collection of bizarre grouping that typify just how outlandish it can get.

This is the wedding party shot. Asajj Ventress is the aunt of the bride and Obi Wan is the groom’s 2nd cousin.

This is the wedding party shot sans the flower droid and the ring bearer. Asajj Ventress is the aunt of the bride and Obi Wan is the groom’s 2nd cousin.

The bride and groom with some distant relatives. This photo was requested by the grandmother of the bride who was not able to attend the wedding due to illness. No one wanted to be in this photo.

Visiting from the far off worlds of Gylfff and Stryllg, Toby and Tommy stand with the bride as the grooms clone trooper great uncle Harry and best friend clone trooper Floyd.

The officiant is a little confused about where to be during the photographs and which camera to look at.

This shot was much better of the bride and groom with the officiant, Yoda actually looking at the right camera and being in the right place.

During the formal pictures, Yoda’s head kept wanting to fall off. Do not be concerned as no Yoda’s were harmed during the making of this wedding.

I was able to slip myself and my camera into a photograph with the bride and groom. How often is it that you can be in photographs from a Lego Star Wars wedding? This pictures was shot by my assistant, the little green annoying guy from Jabba’s sail barge that got zapped by R2-D2. He’s not the best but he can move fast.

The bride and groom are pictured here with their godfathers. Mace Windu and Qui-gon Jin. The intergalactic Catholic Mafia references are more accurate than you know.

The bride and groom are pictured here with their favorite pets/droids/whatever.

Here is a fine image of a very proud Henry Jones standing next to his daughter and new son-in-law.

The cake was made by one of the finest bakeries ever threatened by Darth Vader on pain of death to create a ten foot wedding cake made from pixie dust and ground graphite. The taste was like nothing I’ve ever had before. I could see though walls after having a piece.

Another shot by my assistant of me shooting the bride and groom getting ready to cut the cake.

They still stood there nervously look at me in a confused manner before they finally felt ready to cut the cake.

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